I seemed to have fallen deeper into my depression the past few days, not sure why, just have. Sometimes it's like a roller coaster ride. I cannot think of a trigger that set it off this time (although maybe there doesn't have to be one?) Just all of a sudden no energy, no get up and go, feel weak and just seem not to want to do a damn thing, except be by myself. Your hands shake as well, cannot even hold a glass of anything without spilling it (which is ok with the dog)!
It seems that when I get depressed all I want to do is be alone, some may same I just want to "sook" and feel sorry for myself, but in being alone I feel then I will not bring anyone else down with me especially my loved ones.
Is it fair to shut them out, probably not, but to me at least it feels better. It is very hard when a 60 yr old man loses control of his feelings by either crying or getting very angry and is not sure which one will come out, but you can bet your bottom dollar, one will.
I am going to go now as even writing this makes me sad, but I have been told that writing things down as I feel them (like in a diary, only in today's world it is in a blog) will help me feel a little better.
It's called taking some "me time" and it's ok to do, just so long as you get in some "us time" too.
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