My wife asked me why my posts always seem negative. At first I did not know what to say as she was right.
Then I said I do not have much positive things to talk about. I have my health (so to speak) and other things (family), but are they happy things?
They should be, but to someone like me I have the tendency (as do most who suffer with "D") to only think about only the things I did wrong and the things I have not or cannot do, instead of thinking about the things I have done or that I have.
This is the most difficult part of being depressed, trying to retrain your brain to do the opposite of what it has the tendency to do and as of yet I have not reached that pinnacle (yet).
Monday, 4 April 2011
Saturday, 2 April 2011
Still Venting
Has anyone ever heard of depression biting you in the ass.That is what I feel like alot of times.
Most times you feel alone,useless, not doing your part of the work, not working, loneiness, all this plus the fatigue is what I hate, it sucks everything out of you.
Plus I wish I would hear back from the neurology dept to see why I fall, getting tired of getting up off the hard, cold floors.You would think when you are in your 6's it would be the time of your life.
Not sure if they really understand depression, but they know I am not normal,,,,lol
anyway just wanted to vent a bit this morning.
Most times you feel alone,useless, not doing your part of the work, not working, loneiness, all this plus the fatigue is what I hate, it sucks everything out of you.
Plus I wish I would hear back from the neurology dept to see why I fall, getting tired of getting up off the hard, cold floors.You would think when you are in your 6's it would be the time of your life.
Not sure if they really understand depression, but they know I am not normal,,,,lol
anyway just wanted to vent a bit this morning.
Friday, 1 April 2011
March Takes A Toll
Depression has no time frame. Yet, it seems that in the month of March it takes a higher toll on people with depression (well ME anyway).
The more you fight it, the worse it gets,,,you take one step forward and 2 steps back. (not sure if it is the transition from winter to spring and knowing that I cannot use Winter as an excuse for staying in the house anymore....hmmm)
Then to add the topping to that, you get the flue which further sucks the best out of you, where you REALLY hate to get out of bed. My wife tells me I look like sh*t (with a smile on her face ☺ ), (she is the only one who can get away with that as she knows and understands (as best she can) what I go through ♥).
The more you fight it, the worse it gets,,,you take one step forward and 2 steps back. (not sure if it is the transition from winter to spring and knowing that I cannot use Winter as an excuse for staying in the house anymore....hmmm)
Then to add the topping to that, you get the flue which further sucks the best out of you, where you REALLY hate to get out of bed. My wife tells me I look like sh*t (with a smile on her face ☺ ), (she is the only one who can get away with that as she knows and understands (as best she can) what I go through ♥).
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